Learning To Self Nurture, Not Self Indulge

hand massage

I’m taking a bit of an emotional battering at the minute. I only get 16 precious 50 minute sessions with Marge this year, so I have literally crammed all the hell of my life into that time, frantically working through as much of it as possible whilst I still have her support.

The fast pace has meant fast changes, it feels like a lot of bombs are going off around me. I have quickly learnt to see these as positive bombs, which I’ll explain in another post.

What I will say now, is that whilst the bombs are positive in the long term, I’m still getting caught in the blast zone when they go off, and I’m feeling the after effects. I think I’m keeping my shit together quite well to be fair, but that can only last so long. I need to start healing now. I need a bit of TLC.

Of course, I realise I don’t know how to heal do I! I’ve never really done it before, because I’ve never really set off bombs like this before. And since learning about my emotional battle with chocolate, I knew that chocolate was a ‘keeping my shit together’ tactic, not a healing one, so that wasn’t going to work.

Good old Google…

  • Search: “How does an adult self soothe?”

That seemed like a ridiculous term to search, but my whole life has been based on avoidance, not acceptance and healing. You only know if you know, right? No shame in that.

Well, that search led me to an article, From Self-Indulgence to Self-Nurturing. Which links to another article, Feeling Good Vs. Feeling Good About Ourselves. Between these two articles I feel inspired to self nurture, with actions that make me feel good about myself, allowing me to experience the bombs, learn from them, and heal. Rather than self indulging, with an action that makes me feel good because it distracts me, and thus the bomb and all its chaos will still be there waiting for me when I come back down from the temporary high.

I’ve started small – at the weekend I had a lovely soak in the bath, and twice now I’ve been down to a local lake because [as much as I hate the cold, wet, rain, wind, snow, ugghh] I love to be outside somewhere quiet, particularly near water. I find it very calming. I journal while I’m there, and let all my thoughts spill onto the paper. This is when I wrote my most emotional post to date, Living on a boat.

But as you may know by now, I have two tiny people, they are only 6 months and 2.5 years, so I do find myself tired and stuck indoors a lot at the moment. I’d really like to find new ways that I can self nurture at home, as well as new things to try outside.

So here’s where I need your help…

What do YOU do to self nurture? To look after yourself? To love yourself? When you know you’re worth nurturing, looking after, and loving?

Please leave a comment with as many or little suggestions as you like, I’d absolutely love to hear what works for you



  1. Oh hi lovely one!! I love this post. Funnily enough, learning to self-soothe is something that I need to read about so that is quite a coincidence. I think you are doing really well. I Google the shit out of everything (literally everything) so I think that’s a great place to start and someone has always asked similar things before. I am going to take a look at the articles you’ve put links to in a minute, but I hope they helped you.

    I can’t really give you much advice because I am not so good at this myself but the kind of things I try to suggest to people when they are suffering are small things like write it out – that ALWAYS helps me, cry when you need to, snuggle under a blanket, get a hot water bottle, drink hot chocolate (perhaps tea in your case??), make a nice dinner from scratch, something healthy perhaps for nurturing and not indulgence… hot baths with lovely bath bombs or bubbles… walks…. what else? I go to the gym and do some great classes which help me but that is easier for me without little people! Reading, painting your nails, watching a movie or a box set of some kind? drawing? xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey you! We do seem to be in similar places! I’ve twigged this is something I wasn’t doing but now have to find what will work for me, make sure I have what I need to be able to do them, then remember to do them 😁. I love Google, I’m totally expecting to answer my kids questions with “Google it” 😂. Drawing is definitely something I need to explore, I used to draw a lot when I was younger, I love a good charcoal pencil! A friend posted some great graphics on my Facebook post, I really like the idea of the emergency box, in particular, writing myself an encouraging letter after I’ve recovered from a painful moment, to read next time something occurs 😊



  2. I love this post, I’m defiantly going to have a look at those articles you’ve referred to, I think that I could probably learn a few things here! And I can totally relate to the ‘bombs’ going off, it feels hard and messy but I know it’s all for the best.
    Journaling is my go to when I’m really feeling the full blast, but I find I like to be alone, private, have time and space to be able to really get in to it, which isn’t always possible (even without little people to care for!) I wrote a post a few weeks ago about self care, I broke it down into 4 different sections based on time, organisation & energy required (so that I can use it as a quick reference when I’m feeling stuck!). There might be something in there that helps? I’ll see if I can figure out how to send you a link! xx


  3. ok, i walk my dog, i journal, i relax with a shower or bath I find they are so healing, I put on body butter, I meditate headspace is a great ap for this, I watch funny youtube videos, Or my fave commedy show on tv laughter is good for the soul!xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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