The Fear to Write

I’ve been wanting to write for a while, but fear has held me back. And the more I’ve held back, the harder it has become to write.

One of my deepest, darkest fears is that of rejection. I fear not being liked, I fear looking a fool, I fear not getting it right first time whatever it might be. I fear being incompetent. I fear making mistakes. I fear everyone knowing these fears. I fear how one’s perception of me may change for the worse, if I show weakness and naivety. I fear isolation. I fear rejection. I don’t want to be on my own, I don’t want to lose anyone’s love, I don’t want to be frowned upon, I don’t want to disappoint, I don’t want to fail.

And yet, I want to write from my heart. I want to share my stories. I want to love and be loved. I want to inspire and be inspired. I want to grow, I want to learn.

So it seems I must embrace and expect fear, because I cannot share, and inspire, and learn, and grow, without stepping outside of my comfort zone, without exposing myself for judgment, without making mistakes – and those things are scary.

13 comments

  1. Darling Lauren

    I just read your post, it made me sad because you are the brightest cleverest kindest person I know, you just don’t see what everyone else sees. Whatever you do, personally or professionally you just fly and you are amazingly talented, bright young lady, I wish I had your brains and drive when I was younger.

    What you fear, we all fear but as we grow older those things seem to become less important. So what I am saying is as you get older you will settle and maybe these feelings will become less.

    I was the same when I was younger, I couldn’t bear the thought of not being liked, or if I did something wrong especially in the work place I would be hated and judged. As Ive got older I come to learn that I am tougher and really not bothered what people think, obvs this is just me, but I would hope that you being my family you will arrive at this point and not worry to much about your fears.

    Lots of love
    Your Favourite Auntie

    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh this made me cry! Thank you so much for your encouragement.

      Just recently I think I’ve turned a corner and I’m really really starting to get it, I’m feeling stronger and more courageous, though its taken months for me to get to the point of writing this and picking the blog back up. So many times I’d considered just deleting it. I felt ashamed of previous posts, and how others might view and judge me, and even just because I’d not been posting I felt like I’d failed and should disappear quietly. But just recently I’ve entered a new stage of daring to try accepting me for me, starting to truly love who I am warts and all, and not be so hard on myself. I’m excited to see where this goes.

      Love you lots xxxxxx

      Like

  2. Well done beautiful. I’m so glad you felt you could write another. I’ve been genuinely surprised by the ‘praise ‘ I’ve had because its very easy to think that a wider audience won’t like what you have to say or how you say it. Its scary each time but you should do it. What you have to say is relevant and thought provoking and eye opening, and we love to read it xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you my darling, this is so heart warming to read. Your writing is stunning and has been one of the factors in encouraging me to return to mine, so thank you xxx

      Like

  3. Hi Lauren, I was so glad and surprised to have your post pop up in my inbox. I signed up to your blog a while ago but thought you might have stopped. I can completely relate to everything you have written about this overwhelming fear, I could have written it myself. Thank you for writing, there are lots of us who value what you have to say! šŸ˜Š

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey! I did indeed stop, I’m now remembering I went as far as deleting my Instagram account and making my blog private for a while, I was feeling it bad! Thank you so much for your encouragement, it means the world to have everyone’s support xxxx

      Like

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